Apart from a Brown Dog and an Orange Cat I also have a pool. It's in my backyard, which is much better than it being in my front yard. It's a proper in ground pool, not just a crappy blow up inflatable pool that kids sometimes have.
I like my pool, my pool is great. Except for 6 months of the year when it's to cold to swim in, then it's not so great. Then it just gobbles up money that I could spend on other things. Other things like a new fence, or a holiday, or some art, or a massage, or new shoes, or..... well just about anything really. Except I would never spend money on a worm farm, because worms scare the shit out of me. Worms are evil.
I bought my house the first time in May 2000. The second time was June 2010. When I first bought my house I knew that the pool needed to be repainted. Being new to Brisbane I thought September would be an excellent time to drain the pool and have it sand blasted and repainted.
I was wrong.......
Apparently September is the start of the wet season in a sub tropical climate. Apparently to paint a pool it must be dry. Apparently my timing was way off. The pool was drained, but then it rained. And rained and rained and rained and rained.
The rain never stopped for long enough for the pool to be dry enough to paint. That whole summer while I was sweltering in 30+ degree heat I had a pool to cool down in. At least I should have had a pool to cool down in. Instead I could only stare longingly at a 55,000 litre cement pit in my back yard. That was a very long hot summer.
By April the rain had stopped and the pool was finally dry enough to paint. I had it sand blasted and painted and tiled. That was kind of fun. Friends came over to help. We had barbeques to celebrate how much fun it would be to actually swim in the pool. I like barbeques, barbeques are great. Except when it should be a pool party and barbeque, not just a barbeque. But they would come later.
When it came time to fill the nicely new painted and tiled pool I had a win. My region of Brisbane still had free water! No charge at all to use water. Not like today when it costs approximately $2.58 every time you flush a toilet. Or a five minute shower costs approximately $24.71. Okay, I might be exaggerating very slightly, but seriously!
So I filled up the pool with a simple water hose from a simple tap. Simple. I don't quite remember how long it took, but using a mathematical equation such as euler equation second order I believe it took approximately 6.09 months. Probably not really, but that was when I was finally able to swim in my pool.
So now I have a pool that is filled with water, glorious water! Except I need chemicals, many many chemicals to keep it sparkling. This is when it became a money trap. But I had a pool to keep me cool that summer.... and a Brown Dog that needed to learn how to swim.
This is what happened......
Brown is a hunting dog. He points at things. He's wired to be used to retrieving dead things from all kinds of places, even water. Except Brown was apparently scared shit of water. He wanted nothing at all to do with the pool. The pool scared him. Big problem. He needed to be at one with the pool, incase he ever fell into the pool. I didn't want a drowned Brown Dog after all.
I had a plan, a very clever plan. At least I thought it was clever at the time.
Simple, I would use the stairs to walk into the pool, and with a bit of coaxing Brown would follow. I even had food to coax him in. The plan didn't work. He wanted nothing to do with it.
Time to instigate Plan B......
Brown was still quite light then, still a puppy...ish. Not the 35 kilo's he is today. Plan B was to pick him up and walk down the steps then gently place him in the pool and see what happens. Plan B didn't work, Brown was so squirmy that he wrangled out of my grip before I could get down the first step. In doing so he scratched my arm with a claw. It was bleeding, and wouldn't stop bleeding for approximately 4.41 minutes.
In that 4.41 minutes I came up with Plan C. Plan C was much more clever than the first Plan and Plan B combined.
Plan C went like this......
Find Brown. He was quite good at hiding, but not good enough. Give Brown a doggy treat to make him happy. Watch Brown be so happy that he rolls over onto his back and pees, all over himself. At this stage I am both laughing hysterically and a bit grossed out, I know what I need to do next. Next is pick Brown up, pee and all. A glimpse of fear fills his big brown eyes. Walk towards the pool. Throw Brown into the pool. SPLASH. Jump into the pool after Brown, an even bigger SPLASH. Hope like hell that Brown doesn't sink.
He didn't. Instinct kicked in. Brown started to swim! Except he didn't know where to swim to, so he swam to me. At that stage I carried a half swimming Brown to the pool steps. When he touched ground but was still in the water he smiled a big Brown Dog smile. A happy Brown at last!
I got out of the pool, and Brown followed. Next I had a beer.... it was good. I like beer, beer is great. Except when it's the bland tasting like cat's piss kind of beer. Then it's not so great. So with a proper beer in hand I walked back down the steps into the pool.
Much to my delight Brown followed me in! And he settled on the second step where his belly was in the water. Then he put his head into the water and began to drink. He drank mass proportions of pool water. Then he barfed. Not in the pool, he found his way out before hand thankfully.
Since that day Brown likes to cool down and have a swim in the pool on a hot summer day. He mostly stands on the second step with his belly in the pool. But sometimes he goes for a bit of a paddle.
Lessons learnt #1: Brown Dog does like to swim
Lesson learnt #2: Brown Dog likes the taste of pool water, a lot. Sometimes he still barfs, but never in the pool. He is clever enough to get out first. Because if he barfed in the pool he know's that he'd never be allowed back in
Lesson learnt #3: Never try to get an Orange Cat to follow in Brown Dog shoes.... that's another story in itself
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