Except a whole year had passed and I forgot how damn hard it was. So this year I did it again. Bad idea.
This is why......
Orange hates going anywhere. She is happy to stay at home and do Orange Cat things. Things like catch mice and geckos and bring them to me as presents. Things like barfing in the hallway so when I get up to let her out at 2:31am I step in it. Things like climbing up the Christmas Tree and bringing it crashing down at 12:19am and scaring the shit out of me. As you may recall Orange is evil. Evil to the core. Though I still love her to bits.
Whenever I need to take Orange anywhere I always use 'The Cage'. It is 'The Cage of Doom'. Orange hates 'The Cage of Doom' immensely. She hates it so much that she will go into hiding as soon as I bring it upstairs. Every time I try to get Orange into 'The Cage of Doom' she revolts. She revolts by biting and scratching me so bad that I almost need a blood transfusion.
Last year I tried to trick her..... it almost worked. I brought 'The Cage of Doom' up a week before it was required. I thought I was clever by putting her food bowl into it. So each night I would feed her in 'The Cage of Doom', she was tentative at first. But by the end of the week she would happily go in and eat her food. I thought she was now happy to enter 'The Cage of Doom'......
Except she wasn't......
You see, she was happy enough to eat out of it. But the morning I had to transport her in 'The Cage of Doom' to the Vet she was on to me. She smelt my own Conspiracy Theory!
The morning it was Vet day went bad..... really, really bad. Orange smelt it, she somehow knew that on this day 'The Cage of Doom' would turn against her. When I woke up Orange was nowhere to be seen. All the doors where closed so she was inside.... somewhere. I searched and searched and searched and searched, and then I searched some more. Brown helped me search as well.
We finally found her cowered behind the couch. A couch is heavy to move.... so I learnt. After much maneuvering and rounding up I finally caught her. Then the claws and teeth came out. Lucky for me I had decided to wear protective clothing.... triple layer of long sleeves. That saved me.
After depositing Orange into 'The Cage of Doom' I successfully got Brown and Orange to the Vet. Once there it was absolute CHAOS. Trying to take a Big Brown Dog who wants to sniff and eat everything and a crazed Orange Cat in the 'Cage of Doom' together in a car - into the Vet where there are other dogs and cats..... Well lets just say that I needed lots of help. And many beers afterwards to forget the terror of it all. Anyway.....
After that I learnt a new trick.....
Simple.... do not try to trick Orange, EVER! This year I brought 'The Cage of Doom' up the night before and hid it in the spare room. When Orange woke me up at 2:31 to go outside I ignored her. When it was time to go to the vet I grabbed a sleepy Orange out of her cave, grabbed her front paws together before she knew what I was doing, threw her into 'The Cage of Doom' and locked the door.... Done!
Orange wasn't very happy... but I didn't give a crap. I was happy! No blood transfusion required. Simple... why didn't I think of this 10 years ago?
And Brown.... Well Brown is always happy to go anywhere in the car.....
Although he did slobber a lot. And this year he needed a bit of blood to be tested.....
And because Brown was so good about it all, he got a special present of the good kind......
Orange went to hide in her cave.... and a bit latter on Brown was concerned, so he went to check on her
Clearly they are the best of friends.... and are most likely planning another Conspiracy Theory against me!
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